Just feels right...

Happy Summer!!


I feel like we have been going 100 mph since Kylee got out of school..We are just now settling into our routine. 
So here is an update..
Nick and I both had out chromosome testing done and everything came back normal. Great news!!! Although it doesn't get us any closer to an answer as to why we can't get pregnant but it eliminates another possibility. 
With those results we have made a decision..one that for the first time in 2 years I am confident about..We will wait and see what this next year brings us. My body, family and my heart need a break from all of this. The thought of starting another cycle scares the crap out of me and I honestly don't think mentally I can handle another one, let alone the possibility of a negative result. 
I started acupuncture in April so I will continue to do that and hopefully drop some lbs in the meantime. I am really looking forward to not timing cycles, ultrasounds, blood work etc.. I feel like my body is going through withdrawal of some sort, I have been on hormones on and off for about 2 years and I am a slight mess trying to get back to normal..Sorry Nick!
I am going to try and update more than once every few months..anyone still reading??


C.

Stuck

It sure has been a while..months!!! Not sure if anyone still keeps up with this anymore but if so then here is an update. To start...we did a second round of IVF in February, with a negative result. Another crushing blow to our journey.
My Dr's response..I am at a loss. She referred us to a Dr in Colorado. Why Colorado, they are one of the best in the nation.
I had my phone consult this past Friday. His recommendation, a chromosome test, add vitamins and anti-oxidants to our diet along with another IVF cycle...in Colorado.
We are at the point now, 2 years in to this process, where we are stuck. Do we cut our losses and put the rest of this journey in God's hands or do we go to Colorado and try this all over again..
What we have decided to do is go ahead with the chromosome test. Once the results are in we will know what to do.
Thank you everyone for the love and continued support.

C.

New Year

It has been a while..November! Can't believe Christmas has come and gone and now New Year's has come and gone. I have been dreading the new year but really looking forward to it for a few reasons. I am mostly excited to have a fresh slate. Going into the new year positive and hopefully a lot of positives things will happen for us.
We still have all of our Christmas decorations up and I don't want to take them down quite yet. Is that bad? Something about Christmas that brings me peace with a lot of things. Just wish we had more room in our house for everything and I honestly think I would keep everything up till Spring.
Here are a few pictures to sum up the Holiday...

Gingerbread houses are really so much harder than I thought..

Happy New Year!!

November

It's been a while again...

Since there is nothing happening with our journey for baby #2 at this moment I feel like I shouldn't write anything. 
After the new year we will TALK about trying.. I have a lot of questions for my doctor and I
am not going to lie I am extremely scared. The shots and gaining weight suck but I can deal with that. It's what we went through after that.
Losing the weight is really hard though. Is it because I am 31 or is it the hormones I was injecting into my body?? Either way I hate being a chubbier version of myself. Some day this will be all worth it..

It's for real

We have been talking about it, wondering when is the right time to do it and I believe we have made our decision...
We are planning a trip to Disney!!!
I am so excited for many reasons. But most of all to see Kylee's reaction and her excitement will be priceless. I think she is at an age she will remember it and enjoy every second of it. 
We were waiting for the arrival of our 2nd child but we soon realized after miscarrying that we don't want to plan our life around "when" something is going to happen.  We need to live our lives with what we are lucky enough to have at this moment. If we are blessed with another child then we will just have to plan another Disney trip :)
We are planning on next Fall/Winter. We are talking to an agent about packages. We got a few prices and it really is not as expensive as I was expecting. We have decided we will drive down though. We will need a rental car and airfare is just so ridiculous. We will save quite a bit this way. Our trip to Disney as a kid was a road trip and it was so much fun seeing all of the different places.
So excited!!!

Ignored

I feel like this poor blog is being ignored. I wonder if we still have our #1
stalker. Sorry the updates are so few and far between.
Things are getting better. I am still not ready to even consider IVF again.
Wounds are still healing and Nick couldn't be anymore understanding. He
definitely gets it and I am so thankful for that.
We went on a date on Friday night and we actually talked about it without
me getting as emotional so I guess that is a step in the right direction.
I still have the ultrasound picture on my dresser. I am not quite to the point
of putting it away. I feel like if I put it away at this point I am shutting the
door on my feelings and I have to let myself heal before. I will get there.
We are lucky to have our Ky and she keeps us busy :)

October

I looove this time of year. We have been to the apple orchard, pumpkin farm and the cabin in the past month.  

Kylee is doing good in school. She is having a bully problem on the bus. The principle has gotten involved so hopefully she won't have anymore troubles.
Halloween is this weekend. I have Saturday off and I can't wait to sleep in... although because Kylee has newborn sleeping habits it's impossible to sleep past 5:30 or 6. :)
Sycamore has the Pumpkin Festival this weekend. So before trick or treating on Sunday we are going to the parade.
Can't wait to spend the weekend with my family!