Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Husband three

So it's been four days of the big three.  How good of a feeling to almost be done with it!  Today we got some incredible news that Car has 25 eggs that are growing the way they are supposed to.  15 on one side and 10 on the other.  What a RELIEF!!!  I knew it was going to happen the way they wanted it to, but it was like me losing my job.  I was confident and confident that they were going to hire me back but the closer it got to the layoff date, the more nervous I got.  Luckily like my job, this worked out similar in that we got exactly the result they are looking for.  The nurse was even surprised at the amount with how low of a dose she is taking on all the medication.  I can't imagine how big of a box it would be shipped in if there was triple the amount of medication.

Work has been nuts and I'm hoping that it won't be too long until I am able to slow down with all of the little things like adjusting the desk heights and stuff.  It's good to be busy, but I am also just super tired when I get home.  Luckily I have been able to give Carli the majority of her shots so it has been like an experience that has definitely brought us closer together.  I have also gotten pretty good at giving shots, at least I think so.  You'd have to ignore the HUGE bruises on Carli's stomach, but she also bruises easy.  That is all for now.

Corn Out......

Monitoring...Day 2

Today was a good day. I feel good, and got really good news...
I have been on the FSH, (follicle stimulating hormone), shots since Friday night.
I went in today to check if I had eggs growing and if so how many. We got 25!!!!
15 on the right, 10 on the left. She said they look really good and it's possible to
get more. My blood work came back good so I have 2 more nights of shots and
I go back on Thursday for another ultrasound and blood work.
Good, good day!!! :)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day...I think I lost track

Sunday night. Just got home from my parents from a wonderful day of swimming. Weather was great!!
I am on day 3 of all 3 shots and let me tell you, it is no fun. One of the new shots burns as it's being injected and the other is leaving huge bruises all over my stomach.
I am feeling ok. I had a terrible migraine last night and tonight I am really nauseous. All normal side effects.
We are getting closer to the 2 big days. I haven't thought much about them surprisingly. Right now we are focused on these shots and mixing and timing.
My husband has been amazing. Not only is he a trooper and does every shot but he is putting up with my erratic behavior. Crabby as hell one minute and crying the next. I was told this was going to be a bumpy road but I just never imagined this...
Kylee, precious Kylee. Poor thing is going through as much as we are. She is very curious what we are doing and she wants to be a part of it every night. She rubs my back and tells me it will be ok. She puts the paper towel on my stomach after each shot is given. She even has pushed the medicine in a few times. She doesn't understand the whole thing but she does know mommy is doing this so she can have a baby brother or a baby sister.
I will eventually post pictures of the assembly line of shots one of these days. I just seem to always remember after the shots are done and everything is put away. I wonder if forgetfulness is a side effect ;)...

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Monitoring Day 1

August 25th was a big day in our house...
Kylee's first day of 2nd grade, WOO HOO!!!
Also, my first day of monitoring through ultrasound and blood work..
What are they looking for??? That was my question. I guess with the birth control pill and the Lupron I am on it is supposed to suppress the ovaries and the blood work needs to be within a certain range. So, my ovaries are suppressed and my blood work is withing normal range so Friday starts the, Follicle Stimulating Hormone shots. 2 more shots to add to the 1 I am already on. The shots will help in the production of many eggs to be removed.
To be continued...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Now it's working

So, I have been on these shots for 6 days and the pill for 3 weeks. I have noticed little changes but nothing extreme.
Well a wave of emotions hit me today. I want to scream one second, cry the next.
I just want to crawl in my bed and stay there...
My pants are getting tighter and that is super tough for me.
This will all be worth it in the end but right now it is hard.
BUT...I got through the day. Although I cried for no reason about a dozen times.
I went to dinner with Kylee, my Mom & Dad. I felt better almost as soon as I sat down.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

husband number 2

Today I was nervous.  I have offered to give her the shots but up till today I haven't done one.  I basically take a sharp object and stab my wife.  I know that the needle is only an inch long, but you're sticking something sharp into the person that I have sworn to never hurt in any way.  It's really difficult to describe because you just think in your head, oh well it's just an in/out kinda deal. 

Today I manned up.  I was able to put my fears aside and give Carli a shot tonight.  It's fairly easy for me to hide things and apparently my nerves didn't show.  It was a very fast thing and it was taken care of in a matter of 25 seconds.  She did say it went well and she barely felt it.  I definitely will not have a problem with it again if need be.

Kylee seems to be doing better with a lot of things.  We get along great.  She still has moments of not listening, but she is 7 and that's sort of to be expected.  She has seen Carli get several of her shots, and although it probable doesn't compute what is going on, she seems okay with it. 

I also learned that Carli's dad brought up the question of "what if it doesn't work?  What's next?"  My insurance provides us with 4 IVF's so if this doesn't work then we do have 3 more available.  It's hard to understand exactly what this is doing to Carli, but I don't want to put her through anything that she doesn't need to go through.  We will see what happens soon and hopefully we don't have to worry about this question again.

Stay tuned.......


We had a great weekend up at the cabin with my Mom & Dad and Jason and his family. Ky and I went up on Thursday with my Mom and everyone else came Friday. Kylee starts school next week so it was a nice getaway.
Shots are going. My Mom was able to give them to me which was awesome. She makes it look so easy, like she is a nurse or something ;)
My Dad asked me last night what we would do if this didn't work and it got me thinking, A LOT!!
What if it doesn't?? When is enough, enough. When are we trying too hard??
Although I feel really good about this and I am super positive I still have to be realistic. There is that chance...I have to prepare for let down if there is going to be any. I am not sure how much more of that I can handle and that is what makes me wonder.
We are so extremely blessed and thankful for our 7 year old princess...

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Shot Day 1

My nerves were shot, I was a nervous wreck and completely on edge...

But with Nick by my side I took a deep breath and gave myself the 1st shot.
I was up all night thinking about what all of this might give us and it's so surreal...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Husband Post number one

Big day today.  Day number one of the big medication.  Leupron or Leuprolide.  This is the start of it all.  It's the toughest process but it comes with the best opportunity for success.  It can also make or break you as a person.  My wife is by far the strongest person I know for what she has gone through.  I don't know how anyone can do it.  To have such high hopes and to have them not realized month after month with no reasonable explanation.  We are both healthy.  Beyond healthy to be honest and yet we couldn't do it the way it was intended to be done.  That doesn't make us less man or woman, it just didn't happen.  The hardest part about it is that there isn't an explanation for it.  I want nothing less than to give my family what they want and what they deserve.  My wife wants a baby as bad as anything and it's just not happening for whatever reason.  Hopefully this is the answer we have been searching for with the results we so deeply desire.

We are truely blessed with everything that we have in our lives.  We have eachother.  We have an amazing daughter. We have insurance.  We have a means to earn money.  We have shelter, food, etc.  We just are missing that one elusive thing and thats a baby.  It will come, and hopefully with this process.  I love my wife and will do anything to make this happen.  Like I said before, today was a big day.  Day one of the process and the start of something wonderful!

Oh boy....

I am so overwhelmed right now...
I received my medicine today and this is all of a sudden real.
I am nervous and so scared...

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 12

Well we met with our nurse at the Highland Park IVF center. It only took about an hour form Elgin so it will be about an hour and a half for us on the 2 "big" days. We can do all of my monitoring at the Hoffman Estates office which is really nice.
Our timeline is intense but will be well worth it in the end. I started the pill last week and let me just say I am having a really hard time remembering to take it. I had to set an alarm on my phone to remind me...
Tuesday the 17th starts our first round of injections. Lupron,which is used to help prevent me from ovulation, is the name of the medicine. I have to give myself a 1 shot a day between 6 and 10 pm in my abdomen.
August 25th is my next Dr's appointment and they will do blood work and ultrasound then on the 27th is when the intensity of this is going to hit. Along with Lupron once a day I will have to give myself to other shots, Gonal F and Menopur which will help my body produce eggs, lots of them and hopefully good ones.
I will be on those 3 shots once a day between 6-10pm for about 12 days. It all depends on how my body reacts to the stimulation. I will be at my Dr every 1-3 days for monitoring. The egg retrieval will most likely be the week of September 6th.
We were overwhelmed after the appointment and I am scared to death that I am going to mess something up and mix it wrong, do it wrong etc...But everything will work out!!
We had a very relaxing, great weekend at the cabin and today is our 1 year anniversary. Enjoying the day with my family and staying as stress free as I possibly can...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Our quest for baby number 2

We are in our 15 month of trying to conceive. We started going to the infertility office in January. Both of us have been tested for absolutely everything under the sun. The diagnosis...nothing is wrong with either one of us.
As some of you know I had problems getting pregnant with Kylee so we know the problem lies with me its just nothing that can be diagnosed. We are relieved nothing is wrong but very frustrated to still not be pregnant.
The infertility process is an emotional roller coaster. I know, "it will happen when it's supposed to",  but that only goes so far. Some days are harder than others but with the support from my incredible husband and family I have gotten through 15 months of it. Lots of tears and wondering what I did wrong but we are not giving up until we are holding our baby in our arms.
We decided to start this blog when our Dr recommend we do ivf...invitro.
Today is Day 5 of my cycle and I start my first round of meds tonight. 
Nick and I will update as this process continues...